love don't cost a thing... |letter #83|

Dear Unlovely, 

I don't even have much to say, except listen to what was just spoken into my spirit. 

November 7, 2013

Daughter, I love you.  It doesn't matter what you think, how you feel or what you look like.  I love you no matter what.  So regardless of what goes on in your head, come to me knowing that I love you.  Walk in the love that My Son died to break barriers of access to.  Walk in the love I freely give and the shower you in.  When you worship Me, know that I love you.  Don't try to win My heart back.  It's already yours.  Sometimes you feel me and other times you don't.  It doesn't break your faith.  I am always here but more importantly, you are covered with My blood and love.  You can't escape it so don't act like you have to earn something that is already yours.  I love you daughter and it's different than a feeling.  It's a choice. 

Stay with my daughter.  Don't be so quick to leave.  You've desired this moment for so long; you've felt like it been lacking.  Allow Me to just a moment shower you with My everlasting and abundant love.  You are like a lost puppy trying to find the right way when I am guiding you on your leash already.  But you're great than that.  I made you into My image.  You are more important to Me than anything in this world.  I cherish this relationship we have together because it special.  I look forward to talking to you when you wake up and communing with you until the end.  I love you. I love spending time with you.  I love being with you, wonderful daughter. 

When you mess up sometimes, I don't ever look at you in the wrong way.  I cover you with My grace to last a lifetime.  When you don't get things right, I cradle and nurse you back on My path.  I never look down at you.  I never tell you you aren't good enough.  I never beat you up for it.  I nurse you back to My ways in a loving, gentle and non-condemning matter.  If I am God and treat you like this when things are chaotic, won't you treat yourself the same?  Won't you also love yourself enough to model the love I show to you to yourself when things go wrong?  Won't you be gentle, forgiving and kind to yourself as I have been with you?  

It is not I who stands in the way of our path and exploration of the true identity.  It is you daughter.  Sometimes you hate yourself so much you become the reason why we never go anywhere.  Your self-criticize and self-harm become the reason why we stay in the same place.  You are constantly unsatisfied with the women I made you to be because you blame yourself for all that you didn't get right and all that you don't appear to be.  I don't even blame you for such things.  Do you know who I, Lord of the Universe, blame?  My son Jesus. He got all the penalty for every mistake you ever made, are making now and will ever make.  My Son Jesus got the price for your sins.  But do not be discouraged, everyone sinned and fell short, not just you.  Be in rejoice because My Son lives.  He is alive and healthy and withstood the weight of the world including yours.  

So where is the bad news here?  All of your shortcomings were taken away from you, My Son sits at My right hand healthy and alive, and how I look at you with love.  I don't even see your sin anyway.  I only see the beautiful creation I created who became new because of the blood of Christ.  Look at all that has happened because of Jesus and My love for you.  Look at how free you are from your self-blame.  So why do you think its okay to beat yourself up?  The price for your mistake was already paid way before you were even born!  Jesus died so you can live this life free! 

You are free daughter so remove those chains telling you that you should have never messed up and that you should have it altogether in your own strength.  Daughter, you can do nothing without Me!  I brought you where you stand.  I keep you standing today.  So daughter, love yourself.  We died so that you can be loved and treasured despite your flaws.  Baby, your flaws don't even exist in My eyes anymore.  I only see the perfection of Jesus Christ My Son. 

So if I'm happy, Jesus is happy and the good news has freed you, why are you so unhappy and live in self-defeating guilt and shame?  Why don't you love yourself as I love you?  One day you will get it, but for now, just come to me.  I'm waiting.  

Love,

Your Father

This was all I needed... 

Love,

Stephanie  

i rebuke you... |letter #82|

Dear Evil One,

How dare you? How dare you manipulate me with your sick lies and deadly whispers? I should never let you compromise what I have with God right now! Your path leads to death. My Savior's path leads to everlasting life. You disgust me because today, I finally realized how RELENTLESS you are at attacking EVERYTHING I gained in Christ. You will not stop until I am dead, defeated and a distant memory of this world. You will not let up on your attacks because you genuinely feel NO remorse for the evil you do. At the end of this message I will laugh at your silly attempts to ruin my life, but right now, I rebuke your very presence in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord. 

1. You will never again tell me I'm isolated and unimportant among the people around me. God SET me in this place to prosper, with plans of a bright hope and future. I am important and I have a rich community in Christ. 
2. You will never make me feel so worthless. Do I need to remind you that I am the precious daughter of the King Almighty and NOTHING will ever tarnish His great love for me? Back away from my royal walkway. 
3. You will never take away the peace, joy and purpose I gained in Christ. I will not allow you to make me depressed. I will not allow you to make me worry. I will not allow you to steal the dreams my Lord invested especially in me. I was MEANT to change this world so get out of my way! It ain't gonna look pretty for you, trust me. 

You are so sick with foolishness. I can't stand you. I am so angry that I LET you get to me but even that failure you will not hold over me. My God is greater, my God is stronger and my God is higher than any other. He is higher the the deceitful acts of you. Because of Jesus, I am free. Because of Him, I am forgiven and walking in His righteousness. You may have won this battle, but because of CHRIST, I won the war. You will never steal my victory from me no matter how hard you try.  You only break your neck trying so hard because you know you are defeated! Need I remind you what you're going look like at the end of time? Please.  

I have said what I needed to say but even this angry rant I will not carry on with any longer. You are not worth my precious time. Thus, I rebuke you devil! Be beneath my feet and don't ever come at me like that again. I will rebuke you one-hundred times more if I have to. I am not a FOOL to think you won't come back even stronger than the last. But from now on, I will laugh. Your silly arrows will bounce right off of God's protection on me and even if they pierce, my God will ultimately get the victory.

I hope you see that's EXACTLY what is happening now. You pierced me but God took the pain and is STILL getting the victory for it. You're foolish for thinking you can beat God and I am reminded of how adamant I must be at fighting back! 

Be gone, devil. You are no longer safe in this sacred place. 

I praise you Jesus. Thank you for showing me the truth. My heart belongs to you alone. 

Sincerely,

Stephanie 

i love God... |letter #81|

Dear Frustrations, 

Often times I think I need to have my emotions in check.  Why am I crying over something that I know action can be taken towards?  Why do I have such little faith?  I am ashamed.  I consider myself a baby. This week I've been going through much that I've been upset about; I'm not going to my first homecoming as a Spelman Alumna, I'm getting ready to take graduate midterms, and I feel frustrated about little insignificant yet means something to me things.  I didn't even want to go to God with all of my feelings because I believed He would look at me the same way I looked at myself.  He would tell me, "Stephanie, you know better." Well, I was wrong...

A letter from God Almighty:

Release your feelings to Me daughter.  Cry out your frustrations to Me.  Run to Me with what upsets you. Don't hide your anger from Me.  I know all about loss and "missing out" from relationships and moments spent with those you love.  I chase after an unfaithful bride everyday.  I know all about frustration and things going awry.  Look at what happened with My people.  They don't love Me and My children disobey Me. But you know what daughter, I am still God and I still carry on.  I ultimately know the final plan.  I designed it Myself. 

It hurts me when My people turn away from Me but day by day I keep pushing to advance the kingdom in desire to WIN all My people back before judgment day.  I know who will be going to Hell daughter, out of all the lovely people I created on this earth to carry My life and purposes.  I know who will die tomorrow, many of which will not be saved no matter how hard I try.  I can make all of them confess that I am Lord or I can let them choose with the God-given mind I gave them. 

I love them that much to allow them to have sovereignty in their lives knowing they should be bowing down to the one true King.  I allow people to run around like kings in a fallen world and carry on their daily lives as if I don't matter, as if I don't exist. People actually believe that I am not real daughter! Me, their creator and lover. They don't care for me at all no matter how hard I pursue them.

So yes daughter, I know what it is like to carry pain, frustration, anger, and hurt.  I experience it daily from the disobedience of My people.  I am such a good God, a good Father and Shepherd to My people.  All I want to do is love them with all I have and fulfill in them the purpose of their existence, which is to love me and experience My great love in return.  How can I let all that I took time to create just to go down to hell?  I don't want to.  I dread the day by it's a promise that this day is coming and the sentence for all who reject Me is death and eternal life spent in Hell. 

How I wish everyone will come to Me daughter. How I wish everyone will know the truth. How I wish I didn't carry this pain.  

I actually cry for you daughter.  I cry when you cry.  I assume your burdens so that you can be free.  I watch over you so that you can be safe.  I want the best for you.  I don't want you to be filled with doubt.  I want you to have all that you dreamed off, ones I placed in you in delight.  I love you daughter and I love all My people. 

So when you are upset, come to Me with what you carry and don't assume I won't understand or I'll be mad at you.  I know it's coming so bring it to Me so that you can find solace. 

-God

This was exactly what I needed to read and I figured you would like this too.

Love,

Stephanie