just right... (from spelmanites to you) |letter #87|

Dear You,

I need to get this off my chest.  I need to confide it, yet I somehow want to say this out loud.  I know I am being dramatic but if you could follow the train of my emotions maybe you would act similar.  I just feel so accountable to everyone and no one at the same time.  I'm frazzled. 

I'm frazzled because I am now a published author who's afraid to go out into the real world with my art.  I'm frazzled because I'm not ready to be a big girl now. I'm frazzled because I am embarrassed at some of my escaping imperfections.  The book isn't perfect.  As hard as I tried, I forgot some things, missed some things, and disorganized some things.  It's almost shameful if I let myself think about it so hard.  Now, these mistakes are not numerous but as the designer of this piece they look huge in my eyes.

The moment I saw the books plain view, I leaped for joy.  I couldn't believe it had happened.  It seemed but a dream when I was trying to get people to pay attention to it.  I'm humbled by its sight.  But my lighthearted joy was cast down by the anxiety from the mistakes I made in the book.  I couldn't believe I had missed those little, silly things.  As I sit here and seethe in agony, God steps in and shines a light into my path through my spirit, my friends, and my revelations. 

One thing that He's been teaching me is just how imperfect I am.  I am incredibly flawed.  I'm messed up.  I have issues.  I'm a baby at times and I can't seem to make simple decisions.  Yet, He chose ME!  He picked me to be His.  He called my name.  He whispered my way.  I am far from perfect and yet He sought me.  If I am not so, why do I pressure myself to make everything just that?  God showed me the beauty in our imperfections.  Our weaknesses is where He can step in and minister. He can step in and overshadow our faults so that no man can boast.  He wants to.  He desires it.  God wants us to need Him.

So the end of my anxiety attack over a "flawed" book which is not too messy at all, God taught me it didn't even matter because it would not take away from the message He sought to deliver to my readers.  He also taught me to be thankful and proud at what HE empowered me to do.  He helped me through this. God is USED to people not making the mark yet He USES them anyway.  God sends us to do His will knowing we are to rely on HIS perfection, not ours.  And that is what I hope I did.  I hope I relied in His strength and wrote in His grace.  Furthermore, I know He is taking the unfinished work of mine and adding His own finishing pieces to bring HIM glory, not me.  I am evermore grateful to His love and majesty.  There is none like Him. 

So enjoy the book and get ready to receive something. God has His hands all over it.

From Spelmanites to You 

Love, 
Stephanie 

9 days left... |letter #71|

Dear You,

The fear that once accompanied me when I awoke has been replaced with a peaceful confidence in God's plan. I am excited to see what He is brewing in my life. Yesterday was such a fulfilling day, it can only get better from here.

So, I like to start my mornings with devotionals, six different ones to be exact. I can't seem to pick one book because I hate the feeling of missing out on the others. I like to take on a lot at a time. It is almost normal to me. Spiritually, I need more. I seek for the things I don't know. In turn, it helps me build me wisdom.

Well, I have six different messages that I will be focused on today. I invite you to join me too. Why should I be the only one gaining from it? When you have something good, you should share it. When you make someone else happy, you forget that your weren't happy a few seconds ago. 

So here they are:

1. Be the light of the world, shining bright for all to see so that they know you come from God.
2. Ask Him to soften your heart so that you can hear Him when He speaks.
3. Be ready to fight temptation. It's coming, but there is always a way out.
4. Embrace the kingdom of God on earth and all that He has for you.
5. Fear, worry, and dread have no place in your heart.
6. Think only what is good and pleasing, You will become your thoughts eventually. 

Hope this helps you have a good day. You can tell me about it later.

Love,

Stephanie

Click Here to See What I'm Up To :)

Study Abroad Experience Feature |letter #66|

Dear Readers,

Here is some latest news where I have been featured on Laura's Letters Blog for my study abroad experience.  In winter 2012, I was able to travel to 10 different South American countries for 25 days with Semester at Sea. Here, Laura interviews me about my experience:

"While many students may not see the value in traveling to another country for school, there are many benefits to learning about different cultures other than your own. Don’t believe me? Take a look at two students and what they have to say about their experiences. 

Meet: Stephanie Deltor, a graduated senior of Spelman College."

LL: Describe your experience in 3 words

Stephanie Deltor in Columbia

SD: Life-changing. Eye-opening. Forever- blessing

LL: How has this experience impacted you upon your return? your approach to your studies? 

SD: Now, I seek to understand past what textbooks teach me. I want to be able to apply what I learn to understand people, life, and culture. More importantly, I have a stronger sense of community. I went on the trip with my best friend and 80 other Morehouse and Spelman students I had almost very little to no connection with. After 25 days, these people have become my sisters and brothers. We support each other. We help each other. We miss each other and enjoy life together when we can.

To read more Click Here! Enjoy!

Love,

Stephanie

and this is for you... |letter #61|

Dear You, 

I wrote this to a special friend, but in my spirit I felt like it was also for you: 

I want you to wake up to this message. I want you to know that Jesus and I had you on our minds. You think everyone hates you, but what is there to hate? Either we are blinded by your radiance or external forces are causing you to question the legitimacy of your splendor. To be someone like you take years of molding, a few mistakes along the way, and tons of courage. You my friend, have a story that can affect change. You truly started from the bottom and here you stand strong in the face of adversity. Adversity doesn't know your trials and it doesn't know your stance. Yet, it cannot deny what lies before  it : A wo(man) with bold strength, a passionate heart, and a future destined to radiate God's glory. 

Oh this too shall pass.... 

Because you must see that this is nothing compared to the trials that came before you. This has nothing to do with your self-worth. The status of others do not identify you. They don't back reach out to you? Then you don't have time. Your time is too precious to be wasted, your spirit too special to be deflated, and smile too beautiful to frown. Shine bright like a diamond star, don't rust in the presence of misunderstandings and misinterpretations. 

We are graced by your existence. Anyone who cannot appreciate you can take a seat. You will be someone, somewhere, someday, somehow.

 Goodbye fear, goodbye insecurities, goodbye depression, goodbye low self-esteem, goodbye heartache, goodbye doubt, goodbye haters and non-contributors. Hello freedom, hello happiness, hello beauty, hello confidence... 

Hello you- the one who was fearfully and wonderfully made by none other than the Creator Himself. Praise be to God for his majesty demonstrated through your and your life. So today, smile. Jesus loves you and you have no excuse to feed into the negativity hype.

Love, 

Stephanie

click here to learn how to earn financial freedom in the midst of a world full of debt...

back again to tell the tale... |letter #56|

Dear Readers,

I've been gone for a while. I was actually out experiencing the world and living out my dreams through study abroad.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel to 10 different South American, Central American, and Caribbean countries on a 25-day cruise voyage while taking a sociology class on  ship.  I was able to experience other cultures and interact with dozens of people I would probably never have the chance to meet at another time. I was able to see wealth and poverty in the same place and note the various ways of foreign life. I was able to network with those from my neighboring institutions and professionals in my prospective field. I was granted the opportunity to share my own Haitian culture with the eight hundred on the boat through spoken word and dance and receive confirmation of a well articulated attempt to enlighten my fellow shipmates.  I learned of the rituals of Kwanza and performed an appropriate step routine to demonstrate its vibrant energy and hidden movements. I made friends and learned that there was more than what met the eye. I flirted with incoming knowledge, tasted and saw that it was good and could apply it to my life. I ate well balanced meals and actively exercised my body through yoga and zumba classes. I spent my first Christmas and New Year away from my family to gain an experience of a lifetime, one that I hope to hand to my own one day. 

Semester at Sea Enrichment Voyage 2012 has been so good to me. I may not enjoyed every meal or the consistent and sometimes rather violent rocking of the ship on water, but the memories made and lessons learned have been due to this very experience. I spent long nights in heated conversations and calculated card games and danced to the rhythms of the sea. I paid homage to a priceless organization that gained me sisters and brothers who understand the meaning of the boat life. I watched movies I loved and was intellectually stimulated by passionate classroom debates. I spent a lot of money on pieces that would be mine to treasure forever. I learned how to become a better writer and that I still have some issues to address.  I picked up silly behaviors of my peers, a little sister to mentor, and the fact that my best friend truly shares my crazy weird.  I was inspired and inspired, was touched and touched. Julian Bond become my right hand man. Semester at Sea, I am forever thankful to thee. 

Yet, this does not even encompass my experiences in any of the ten countries I visited.  I never did mention Columbia, Peru, or Nicaragua but each country deserves its due assessment in its own separate blog. Thus, begins the chronicles. I look forward to sharing.  

Love, 

Stephanie

i thank you... |letter #41|

Dear Readers,

My eyes almost well as I begin to write this because in the last few days, I have been overwhelmed with love and appreciation towards my blog. I really affect people when I write. Here I sit, simply writing down some of my innermost feelings, about topics that are dear to me, but receive such admiration from those around me for it. Hearing all this positive feedback makes me believe I have the potential to really make a difference. It makes me feel special.

That special feeling hit a part of my heart I never knew existed. I couldn't stop smiling with every compliment and every encouraging word.My heart melted because not only I am a sucker for sweet things, but something so personal to me was made beautiful to someone else. It also makes me feel like I have the power to use my words to channel change.  I can inspire you. I can challenge you. I can make you smile, if only you read what I lay in front of you. I am humbled by the thought.

 One friend, whom I hadn't talked to in at least two weeks, called me to tell me why he appreciated the things that I wrote. He said the honesty and vulnerability of my words leave him searching to deepen his connection to my piece. He wanted more.  Another friend said I was brave to expose myself to publicly for display.  Not only was I a talented writer, but I was able to express myself in a way that made others relate. Another said I was able to help her understand what had been bothering her for two weeks, simply in a paragraph.

I understand that I am a good writer, but the real question is why? Why can I affect those with such simple words? Why can I bring people to this simple site?  Perhaps, the reasons lie differently for each person. As I discover this knowledge, I revel in the truth.  My heart pumps with the purpose and power that was ordained mine.  I am a writer.  I am me. I am a difference.

I cannot ask for anything else.
Thank you reading.

Love, 
Stephanie 

Courtesy of We Heart It

things i should have said... |letter #35|

Dear You,

When I think about you, an internal conflict begins to rage because although I miss how things used to be between us, I can't help but uplift the beautiful person you have become today.  A smile hints when I reminisce on awkward things that brought us joy.  Who else found laughter in pregnant ladies dancing, Haitian aunts babbling at family parties, nosebleeds in the bathroom, and corny jokes often involving running escargots.  The latter is something I would rather not explain.  Essentially, no one could make me laugh as you did, and feel better about life.  You knew me and I knew you. 

I was thirteen when I decided that you were more than just my cousin.  You had graced your way into my life and became my best friend and no one could ever take your rightful place. In our secret hideaways, we shared our dreams, and through the distance, everything else. You never did live near me and naturally we adapted to the lack of physical time spent together.  It made road trips even more exciting. We did not keep it from sharing almost every thought with each other.  Even the mundane decisions needed your screening. Together, we went through the headaches of love and boys, dramas with girlfriends, stress of school, unfortunates of family, and much self-discovery. We secured a bond that was unbreakable, but when feelings started changing, so did we. 

We stopped expressing ourselves to one another, often times because we were scared to be judged.  We lost patience as well as things to talk about.  We let negative thoughts linger more than we should. We stopped leaning on each other's shoulders. Most importantly, we stopped making each other laugh at life.  I miss the long hours talking about why boys were stupid and the times you made me smile when something else made me sad.  Your positivity could lift a nation, nonetheless me.  Your spirit was one that complemented mine, so when I received less of it in the same tenacity, I know something had been altered. 

Honestly, we are at an okay place now. We talk every couples of days of things of semi-importance, but I often fear that your new path in life will be one that drifts from mine. You've developed into a strong, self-confident, and passionate person who I believe will save marriages, as you aspire to do. We both are doing well but this is not my true concern. You also have a heart that follows the Lord, another commonality between us, but I know you have far surpassed me when it comes to Him.  You are afraid of losing my friendship to someone else as I fear losing our friendship in being unequally yoked spiritually.  I'm afraid to be honest with you because some of the things I do you would not support.  So instead of talking, I choose to listen even though you express little say.  Your silence can be stifling on the other end when I do share my life. Sometimes I don't know how to accept it, so I choose to run away.

You've told me I could always be honest with you, but in the back of my mind I didn't believe it. I just don't want what I say to be the reason nothing is said at all. Although this is a rough patch in our friendship, I want you to know and believe no one will ever take your place. 

Love, 
Stephanie 

Courtesy of We Heart It

daily affirmations... |letter #33|

Daily Affirmations

Dear You, 

When you woke up this morning, what was the first thought that crossed your mind? Did you think about your first class, filling up your tummy with food, or what you were going to wear today?  Was it even too personal to say?

What I am really saying is that I hope that your first thought was not negative. Instead, I hope that it was something uplifting, something that would you encourage you to take your next steps. There is nothing like the power of negativity. It breaks the power of your will, degrades your faith, and leaves your visions bleak. Negativity has the control to influence our every move.  

I was a victim to negativity and I was nothing under its strength. I struggled for understanding and cringed for solace. I soon transformed into something unlike myself. I almost lost the battle, until today.  

I found negativity's fear.  It shrivels under the presence of positivity.  That will be my forever stronghold.  So repeat after to me:

1. I am beautiful.
2. I am capable.
3. I am qualified.
4. I am unique.
5. There is no one like me.

Today, has no significance, except that today is the first day of the rest of your life. How will you live it?

Love,
 Stephanie 

Courtesy of We Heart It