Dear My Future Husband,
You must know about me. You must have been able to match the cost of my value. You must have recognized the high price I am worth and pulled out your all of your investments to be able to afford all that is me. You are a blessed man indeed. You were the special one God equipped to righteously earn my royal blood. Does this make me cocky? On the contrary, I am only Biblically confident. I am beginning to fully assume my esteemed worth as Christian woman. I am the daughter of a great King. I need not settle for jesters or jokers who can't even afford half of what I cost. But you could. You are equally mine.
Does it make me any less lovable because those who came before you didn't want me for long? Have I lost my value because I "wasn't enough" for them? If I believed these lies, I question how far I would be or how behind I would be. It's too easy to equate my worth with the actions of a man. If he doesn't want to be with me, I must be missing something. If he's still talking to other girls, I must not "badd" enough. I am certainly not "it" if he cannot commit. How foolish? Who I was as a woman paralleled the limited perspectives of the men who viewed me. My temporary "boos" determined whether or not I was "wifey material". They alone decided if I made the cut. I fell for all of it. I believed it secretly.
And yet, I was almost caught in this sickening mindset once again. Thinking negatively about an ex and convincing myself that I wasn't good enough will often lead me to these brash conclusions. Until God stepped in and reminded me WHOSE I was and WHO I was. Simply because several men were too silly to keep me or smart enough to let me go does not mean I am deformed, inadequate, or bland. My essence does not depend on the opinions of men but on the one opinion of Him who matters.
Can I say I am perfect? Absolutely not. I know I had several insecurities when dating. I am very well aware of the part I played in the downfall of my relationships. My biggest mistake yet was gaining those insecurities by relying on the perceptions of men in order to define who I was. Sometimes, their actions towards me only reflected the low worth I was assuming for myself. How can I blame them? I was not perfect at all. Yet, I can say that my imperfections are now made righteous with Jesus Christ, my Savior. He alone can complete me and He alone can say all that I am.
Therefore, may I just remind you, man of God, how incredibly fortunate you are? May I simply applaud your matching caliber? You are my perfect match, not by your own doings but because of God's work in you. You were the one who I was meant for all along. You will be the one who will get ALL that I've been working with, with no restraints. I am a fine woman of God! The fruits of the Spirit surge passionately between my bones. I am not missing one good thing for Jesus Christ lives in me. He shapes me to be all woman I can be. I am all that you have dreamt of. I am what you never thought existed. What blessing it is for you to receive me?
He has called you mine and I am now yours. Finally, a man who was willing to meet God's standards and acquire me. You were very well worth the wait.
Love,
Stephanie
