Dear My Future Husband,
I fought another battle today, but not with my homework, my grades, my internship, my thoughts, or my emotions. No, today I fought a battle against it. One of the most important things I first want to lay on the table with you, since I vow to be completely and utterly honest with you as I should be, is that I hate scrunched up napkins. Scratch off that look on your face.
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| and this is where they should always be: contained! |
(Courtesy of Vileseskogen)
The sight of them makes me wallow in disgust. I have this unexplainable ratched emotion towards the evil ugly thing that unfortunately no one else around me reciprocates. Apparently, I am the only sane person in this world who can clearly see and revoke the annoying and unappealing appearance of a napkin scrunched up.
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| the evil little critter! |
(Courtesy of erix!)
The other day I was sitting in the cafeteria with three of my girlfriends. There was nothing special about this day, no amazing life changing event occurred, just me and my friends eating in the café on a typical day of school. I was in the middle of explaining a story of when I accidentally tripped down the stairs in an important interview to my friend across the table when it happened. A red splash of pizza sauce sprayed all over her bright white shirt after taking a bite of pizza. Immediately she grabbed a napkin from the container and began swiping away the mess like a mad woman.
Then she committed a crime only true friends would know never to commit in my presence. She scrunched up the napkin she used and left it like a betraying tease in front of my face ten inches away from my plate. It just sat there, looking like the most hideous object ever. It was so small, so scrunched up from my friend’s pressure, and so red with sauce. I saw millions of unorganized folds and rips on it. My skin started pricking and my hands sweating. I had trouble concentrating on the conversation around me.
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| it's this kind of cuteness that makes my napkin condition look crazy |
(Courtesy of Hygiene Matters)
I couldn’t stop looking at the nasty little critter. I tried to distract myself. I fiddled with my phone, I laughed too hard at bad jokes, and I ate really really fast. Minutes of internal torture passed and eventually I couldn’t take it sitting there and looking at me with that sneer anymore. I exploded. I jumped from the table, swatted the napkin across the table onto the floor, and stormed out of the cafeteria. Instantly, I felt relieved and left with a triumphant smile on my face. Another battle of the scrunched up napkin conquered.
Love,
Stephanie
Stephanie
