Dear My Future Husband,
This has been one of the most difficult things I've had to do because I am forced to abandon my incessant control and trust the one who is bigger than me. Force, in the sense that without Him I can do no great thing on my own.
Today, I woke up with fear in my heart. I imagined the obligations that this day held. I lacked hope, peace, and confidence in the work before me. Something felt so wrong about today that it scared me.
So, I called Him. Cried, is a better word. I cried like a baby. I was fed up with answering questions I didn't know, planning things that didn't work, and reaching people who didn't respond. I've become accustomed to running to Him for every little thing. So I went to the source and he led me to green pastures. He told me how it breaks His heart that we only associate Him with duty and never with rest. He reminded me that only in Him do I find my confidence and peace. It's okay to relax. It's okay to lay, especially in His presence.
He sets a bed of compassion and love for my name. He works when I come, and if not, He waits until I make the conscious choice to seek Him in the midst of His work for me. He is both the commander and healer. Outside of Him, I should have no want. He can give it all.
I feel so refreshed. I feel safe now. I am no longer fearful. I am no longer burdened. Despite my humanly weaknesses and crazy thoughts, I know I'm going to be okay and this will all work out for His glory. He is faithful.
I am ready for what He has for me today.
Love,
