Dear Heartbreak,
You know that moment. That moment when you are sprung on a guy and things go wrong. That moment when there's no one like him and you feel these emotions you can't describe that you haven't felt with anyone else before him. That moment when you miss him and he's not talking to you, loving you, missing you and when you want him to hold you and him tell you he'll never leave your side.
So, you know that moment when you're upset so you decide to go out with your girls and get drunk to mend away the thought of him. When shot after shot become a blur and the escape of him only brings you back in thoughts. You want to call him but your girls say no. You want to tell him how much he hurt you but you can't find the words to say. It eats you up inside as you dance and flirt and laugh and slur. That moment when you sneak off the dance floor and find a quiet space. Your head is spinning and the numbers in front of you on your phone are unclear. What is clear are your feelings and the way you miss him tonight, and every night before this one. You dial his number. He doesn't pick up. You call again and still nothing. It's almost two in the morning so he must be asleep you reason... Or he must be with another female, of course. You still aren't good enough.
You call one more time and get so fed up he missed the call again. That moment when somehow someway you end up in front of his door because the amount of alcohol and music beats couldn't satisfy the groaning aches of your broken heart. That moment when you pound at the door and beg his name to avoid sleeping alone tonight. That moment when he opens up awake from his slumber. When he's saddened by your drunkenness but decides to treat your sickness. That moment when he cleans up your mess and puts you in his warm clothes that smell just like him. He tucks you into his blankets and cuddles you to his side. He tells you it's all going to be okay while he kisses your forehead. He tells you you're beautiful anyway and nothing you can do that can keep his love away. That moment when all of your fears disappear and everything feels right again. You are fulfilled back in his embrace where you belong. The beautiful time when you go to sleep peacefully in the arms you love and the one who loves you like no other.
See, this is what we all really want deep down in our gut. We want to run to the one we love even in the mess that we made for ourselves. We want to know that no matter what happens, no matter what fight, disagreement, and mistake, his arms will always welcome us back to the place we most feel safe. Yet to this day, we've been chasing the wrong arms. We've been chasing the men of that time instead of the God of all time. The God who has always been there and never left. The God who will comfort us when we are sad and clean us when we get dirty. The God who will give all that we were searching that our men couldn't give. The same way we long for our significant other, God longs for you. He is the greatest lover of all time. His love for you cannot be measured. The same feelings we get from these special men are incomparable to the feelings God gives us from His love.
So that awkward moment when I ask, do you really know how much He loves you? Can you say you ever gave Him a chance to show you? Will you accept His love call today or will you go back to the limited man of yesterday? It's your call to answer. Hopefully you pick the one most worthwhile.
That very awkward moment when you know what you should really do at this very instant moment.
Love,
Stephanie
