Dear Mummy,
I do not know what would have happened to me if you really had left this world that day. I do not even know whether or not I could have processed that information enough for a reaction. The start of the outflow of those words all humanity dreads would have led me to march up to the hospital myself in disbelief. I would shake you in that cold hospital bed and scream out your name. Wake up from this illusion these people have created for you, Mummy, because you are not gone. My mother would never leave me, I would say. She would put up a fight first.
It's funny because when you told me later on your experience of that night, you really did fight and struck a deal with God. You felt yourself slipping away with voices and images ringing and flashing through your mind. You were scared, but not of death itself. You knew you would enter the heavenly gates of the Lord, no doubt in your mind. Yet, you were scared to leave us: a twelve year old daughter, three year old and ten year old sons, and a husband who would crack without his wife. Thus, you fought for live and pleaded with God that your children were not ready to be left without a mother. You begged and prayed for more time here on Earth. You battled avidly with death itself until God finally granted your wishes. So, here you are Mummy, living among us like you were never once threatened to leave.
Courtesy of sleepyjeanie
Courtesy of Refracted Moments
Fighting is such your character. When you stand for something you believe is right, you will never cease to speak up for justice. Selflessness is another part of your character. Although in tremendous pain that night, you put aside the needs of yourself and begged to continue taking care of your family. You chose a lifetime filled with pain over an eternity with the Lord himself just for us. There is no one on this Earth with the integrity, strength, passion, and courage like you.
My mother is a strong woman and without her, I would not be the woman that I am today. Her guidance, love, and support have shaped me to believe in, treasure, and practice the values I hold today. But what if I was wrong about her fighting to live? What if she really did leave me, my father, and two younger brothers behind that night? Honestly, I could not have imagined what I would have done at such a young age. I would have been too selfish to understand why God would take her from me. My life would have taken alternative paths. Maybe I would have went astray. But it wasn't meant to happen. My mother is here with me today and I thank God everyday. I may not know how much longer I have with her, but best believe I am cherishing every moment.
Courtesy of Stmarygypsy
Love,
Stephanie
