Dear My Future Husband,
After browsing through my Facebook page, I stopped at a status that said that the father-daughter relationship directly impacts the interactions with a daughter's romantic partners. I thought about it. For the past several years, although plenty of guys have crushed on me relentlessly, the chosen few that I admired back have been unsuccessful attempts at a good relationship. Thus I had to question myself. Has my unlucky efforts at a relationship been because of the guy's flaws or my somewhat imperfect father-daughter relationship?
Courtesy of apdk
The issue with man #1 was that we were young and he wasn't ready to be with someone he can see himself with for a long time. Man #2 I messed up on by letting him go when he was ready and willing. Man #3 I actually dated (unless you don't consider two weeks to be a relationship). His issue was that he kept forgetting he actually had a girlfriend in the first place. My father? He's the best dad a girl could ask for. However, do I have the type of relationship where I can actually talk to and share my thoughts, feelings, and emotions with him? Unfortunately no. As much as I love my father, I am not emotionally and mentally connected to him. I can never say I have one of those father-daughter talks/dates. To be honest, it hurts.
Courtesy of bfhoyt
I can't say who's fault it is but both of us. At the same time, a deep immature part of me can't help but blame him. Essentially, it all stems from his longs hours spent at work and his short ones spent home. Working was his way of providing the very best for us and although I will never be ungrateful, I wondered why the nights he came home he never asked me how my day went. I wondered when he would bother me about the boys in my life and tell me he was going to beat up anyone who broke my heart. Sometimes, I felt like he didn't want to know anything, so I didn't want to tell him. I can't change the fact that my dad is introverted and keeps his thoughts to himself, but I can change the way I interact with him. Now that I am older, I gained a desire to change the dynamics of our relationship and form it into the one I also dreamed. I realized that I have to be the one to make all the initial efforts and I am willing and ready to do that.
But has my emotionally unstable relationship with my father determined the fate of my romantic relationships now? Honestly, I don't know. I pray that by the time we are together in the future, both my relationships with you and my father would be secure. I don't want to be with you unless the relationship more important than this is right. Even more so, not before my relationship with my Heavenly Father is right too. I would hate to think that my failed attempts at relationships have been because my relationship with my dad has been slacking. It's sad to think that maybe the reason I want a relationship so bad is because of the one lacking with my father. Understanding that is the first step, and with the knowledge comes growth and change.
Love,
Stephanie
