Dear My Future Husband,
I think I have a problem. I don't really open up much. I lied. Apparently I don't open up at all. It's hard for me to share my most intimate thoughts, emotions, and ideas. Obviously you must know this already if we have gone this far in our relationships Maybe you get frustrated with me. I don't mean to be hard to read, I just don't know to open the book. But I've been working on it. I honestly do want people to see the true me, not what they think they see.
Today was different though. I hung out with my guy friend who made it so easy for me to talk about anything on my mind at the moment. Everything felt so natural and safe for me to just be me. I told him how much I missed dancing everyday like I used to 2 years ago and how I was afraid of making mistakes in my career choices. I told him how the dreary rainy cold weather depressed me. I told him I was lazy. I told him I valued his friendship.
Today was different though. I hung out with my guy friend who made it so easy for me to talk about anything on my mind at the moment. Everything felt so natural and safe for me to just be me. I told him how much I missed dancing everyday like I used to 2 years ago and how I was afraid of making mistakes in my career choices. I told him how the dreary rainy cold weather depressed me. I told him I was lazy. I told him I valued his friendship.
These are the types of friends that I hold on to especially. The people who make me feel like I can share anything with without being judged. Sometimes it's not even that I have a fear of rejection, but it is because I have such a love for people. I could sit and listen to people pour their hearts out for days without feeling the need to reciprocate. It stems from my desire to understand people and ultimately help them. But I guess I shouldn't let it stop me from revealing myself either and allowing myself to be understood.
I once read a unknown quote that said, "Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." This describes how I feel perfectly except I put walls up unconsciously. Now, I guess I'm just waiting to see who will be the one who will break me down. I believe many see me on a daily basis but few know what lies within. Hopefully, you will be one of the few.
Love,
Stephanie
(Courtesy of Gabriela Camerotti)
