this christmas... |letter #31|

Dear Those Little Girls Who Look Up To Me, 

Christmas is just around the corner and I wish you all the very merry best.  As we prepare for the holiday festivities of lighting up our cozy homes with bright lights and Christmas trees, stuffing our stockings, and drinking the American eggnog with family members, I send a sweet wish that this year you girls create your wish-lists with care and much consideration.  

As someone older and I would like to believe wiser, I would like to grant you a wish-list specially designed by yours truly and hope that Santa, your parents, or whomever you believe in shall grant you such.  Here are 25 things for Christmas I hope your loves give to you: 

What every girl needs: 

1. That best-friend specially designed to challenge, develop, amuse, and choose you. 
2. The ability to never leave your house without your full confidence. 
3. A clear mental camera ready to truly capture your precious moments. 
4. One heck of a purse to carry your entire life in. 
5. The resources and opportunities to live out that little dream building inside you. 
6. A diary to document all your gushy feelings not everyone deserves to know. 
7. A favorite memory to keep reliving when your sad. 
8. The knowledge to decipher when someone isn't looking out for your best.
9. The burning passion to accomplish all of your goals. 
10. Some bad shoes to walk the runway called life.
11. The ability to cook your favorite foods. 
12. A love of life that should never die out. 
13. The perfect accessory that goes with every outfit. 
14. Some mase to weed out those no good trifling little boys out there. 
15. The ability to laugh when life aims to make you frown. 
16. A desire to change the world, or at least an issue dear to your heart. 
17. An attitude, spice, and sass to remind those you stand your ground.
18. A ground to even stand on, a solid foundation to lay your nest. 
19. The hope to believe you deserve everything you work for. 
20. The confidence to know you can and will be loved by a man for everything you are. 
21. The ability to perceive those who love you and those who don't. 
22. A treasure chest called your body to protect, cater, and preserve. 
23. Long legs to walk away from those that hurt and run to those who heal. 
24. A loving family to lean on and live with and a role model to look up to. 
25. And the perfect song to define, inspire, and sweeten your journey.

Everything else will fall in place. 

Love, 

Stephanie

Courtesy of We Heart It

seriously weird... |letter #30|

Dear My Future Husband, 

I need to be completely vulnerable with you right now for like a split second and let you know that I will probably be the weirdest person you know at your present state of life. I am so freaking weird:

Why?  

I think way to much about nothing at all. I talk passionately to myself when I'm not in the mirror. I'm obsessed with salami and cheese. I laugh to myself when people fall down the stairs and smile when people tell me sad stories.  I like to bother people silly and talk gibberish with seriousness. I sit here and write about my gushy girly feelings and expect people to actually read it. I inspect my food after every bite and like feeling awkward. I don't like odd numbers just because I said so.  I make crazy facial expressions and I can't let my lips be dry for more than one second. I like it when people play with my ears. I hate it when people give me constructive criticism and I cry when I'm mad. I stare people down with a straight face and get mad if they shoot me a dirty look. I get paranoid about whether people are paying attention to me. I always vomit when I drink too fast.  I need to shower in a specific way and can't express my feelings in person for crap. I don't like it when people look at my feet and the list unfortunately goes on. 

But I like it. I like all the little quirks that make me me.  If I didn't I think I would be miserable.  I make me laugh and I think I'm actually hilarious.  So if I like me, I think you should like me to. I'm glad you already do. 

Love,

Stephanie 

Courtesy of We Heart It

look past my face... |letter #29|

Dear Those Who Do Not Who I Am, 

Here lies my piece inspired by an unknown Haitian poem: 

You asked me if I was sure I was from Ayiti

So it seems you carry this mentality

That deep down inside you believe

I do not look like I am from Haiti

Your media coverage

Shows you impoverished

Barefoot and hungry

Seeking food and water in the slums,

It paints the negative of my cultural drums

In a light of despair.

But beautifully

There is more to my country than slums, hunger and poverty

Your idea and concept of me

Is not what I have proven to be,

Accent on my tongue and pride in my eyes,

Yes, I am a product of Ayitis thighs

But still I don't look, sound or act Haitian?

Is it my style of dance that has you in awe?

Have you never seen a Haitian dance kompa before?

Have you never seen passion as raw as mine?

And dark night beauty as culturally fine?

Or is it Haiti’s first black independence that has you so timid?

Don’t let your perception have you so limited.

Look past my face, dark, light or distinct,

Look past my hair, straight, curled or kinked,

Look past your own mentality

But gaze into my heart and you will see,

That my nationality is defined in three letters and that is

I E T!

"I am Haitian not only because I was born mentally in Haiti, but because Haiti was born in me."

Love, 

Stephanie 

Courtesy of We Heart It

ten more things i'm too afraid to say... |letter #28|

Dear Those in My Past, Present, & Future,

1. Somewhere inside, I want to rebel against my ways. 
2. I've been looking for something that I found with someone else already. 
3. I feel like that end time is close and it's hard to feel like it hasn't been a waste of time. 
4. I'm conflicted on who I should be, who I want to be, and who I am. 
5. Some part of me wants to live that rich, famous, fast life. 
6. I'm not a sweet as I used to be for good reason. 
7. I'm terrified of losing any one of my family members. 
8. I'm scared of never reaching what I see as success. 
9. Sometimes I struggle with high self-doubt. 
10. I can be very pessimistic. 
    
    
    
    

Love, 

Stephanie

Courtesy of We Heart It

just make me smile already... |letter #27|

Dear Anyone Who's Willing to Listen, 

Today's has't been my day. I feel like I'm experiencing the aftermath of everything that has been occurring  the past week horribly.  My best friend and I got into a fight, family is in chaos, I broke one of my vows, I had the worst goodbyes, I took annoying finals, and my car is acting crazy. 

Okay, let me stop being so depressing. It has not been all that bad. I experienced good too, maybe a even a little too good. Yet, the emotional roller coaster of this week has left me dead, tweaking, and unusable. It sucks to compare your life to other people. I am in no way going through some of the unfortunate situations others around are. I'm not broke, starving, or orphaned. I can afford school and can achieve an education. On top of that, I can enjoy life with spontaneous trips around the world and random getaways. I don't have to worry about tomorrow and stress about yesterday. In the end, I'll get over it. I always do.  So what am I complaining about?

 Honestly, all I wanted was to share how I felt deep inside.  I wanted someone to smile gently when I pout and hug me when my shoulders slouch. I wanted someone to tell me it was going to be alright not because other people have it worse but because I have it good.  Honestly, all I wanted was for someone to listen. So thank you to you.

Love, 

Stephanie

Courtesy of We Heart It

i still have something to say... |letter #26|

Dear Me, 

How often do I shoo away the things I love? I love to write, yet I haven't written my own words in months.  To be honest, I'm sure it would have helped me get through much of what I experienced the last five months of silence.  However, I refuse to focus on what I can't change. I mean, I'm writing now aren't I?

Seriously, how is it so easy for me to neglect what I love? Baking cookies at midnight, running during sunrise, illustrating in a quiet room, reading during a thunderstorm exemplify the simple things that can bring people joy.  Yet too often I am caught up with this metaphor called life and forget these details that make me happy.

Bottom line: I need to be writing because this just made me happy inside. 

Love, 

Stephanie 

Courtesy of We Heart It