on this day... |letter #62|

Dear Envy,

Something needs to be said and something needs to be done about you and the way you make me feel. I need to be honest, sometimes you can be found in the inner parts of my heart. It is hard to be truly happy for someone when you wish the same upon yourself. The clothes, relationships, accolades, and accomplishments always seem to look better on her over me. When I see something that I want, I don't remember the things that I have. When I see something that I desire, I forget about the growing I've done. It's not wrong to desire something better, it's wrong to desire it from someone else who has it.  That want turns into a need and the need into you. 

You have the potential to poison me. You make me believe as if nothing I do is ever good enough. You make me think I should be someone else. I can no longer live with your piercings marked secretly in my heart. They will destroy me as what you wish for me. What good do you bring? What hope do you proclaim when you cause feelings of inferiority within? But what of me to hold you captive when you scar me so?

I have come here today to watch you burn and withered and buried. I have come here to say my final words. As I watch you in that casket still and ineffective, I cannot help but doubt if you are really dead to me. I'm scared that you will come creeping into my mind again when I see her. The one who's sweeter than me, purer than me, more confident than me, and more impacting than me. She who is happier. She who is livelier. She who is fearless. Why couldn't she be me?  

But who am I to question God's immaculate creation that is me? Who am I ask the Potter why He has formed me this way? Yet, I do. I degrade the value of His blessings in my life by comparing them to others. I have yet to appreciate who I am and what I have. God has a special purpose for me therefore I cannot look like anyone else. God has a unique mission for me therefore I cannot have the things of others. I am well-equipped for my work, not hers. I will be successful in my way, not hers. You have helped me plummet this far but I can no longer give you that power. 

So on this day, the 29th of March of the year 2013, I announce you gone from my life through Him who set me free. You will no longer restrict my love for others and no longer keep me from genuine rejoice. By the power of love, I reject your place in my life. By the power of love, I embrace those you tell me to envy. Everything is different. I am left changed. This is it, my eulogy to you. Die my sin. Rest in turmoil. 

Love,

Stephanie

and this is for you... |letter #61|

Dear You, 

I wrote this to a special friend, but in my spirit I felt like it was also for you: 

I want you to wake up to this message. I want you to know that Jesus and I had you on our minds. You think everyone hates you, but what is there to hate? Either we are blinded by your radiance or external forces are causing you to question the legitimacy of your splendor. To be someone like you take years of molding, a few mistakes along the way, and tons of courage. You my friend, have a story that can affect change. You truly started from the bottom and here you stand strong in the face of adversity. Adversity doesn't know your trials and it doesn't know your stance. Yet, it cannot deny what lies before  it : A wo(man) with bold strength, a passionate heart, and a future destined to radiate God's glory. 

Oh this too shall pass.... 

Because you must see that this is nothing compared to the trials that came before you. This has nothing to do with your self-worth. The status of others do not identify you. They don't back reach out to you? Then you don't have time. Your time is too precious to be wasted, your spirit too special to be deflated, and smile too beautiful to frown. Shine bright like a diamond star, don't rust in the presence of misunderstandings and misinterpretations. 

We are graced by your existence. Anyone who cannot appreciate you can take a seat. You will be someone, somewhere, someday, somehow.

 Goodbye fear, goodbye insecurities, goodbye depression, goodbye low self-esteem, goodbye heartache, goodbye doubt, goodbye haters and non-contributors. Hello freedom, hello happiness, hello beauty, hello confidence... 

Hello you- the one who was fearfully and wonderfully made by none other than the Creator Himself. Praise be to God for his majesty demonstrated through your and your life. So today, smile. Jesus loves you and you have no excuse to feed into the negativity hype.

Love, 

Stephanie

click here to learn how to earn financial freedom in the midst of a world full of debt...

who said anything about tomorrow... |letter #60|

Dear Students, 

As we all look forward to our designated Spring Break plans the upcoming week (lucky some may already be experiencing that), I wish that we do not rush for tomorrow and forget the importance of today.  Who says that tomorrow is even promised? We who cannot even control the beat of our hearts believe that we ultimately can control our God-given time. We are to prepare ourselves at all costs, but to live for tomorrow would be a waste for the tomorrow that we planned for will be today and today will be meaningless as we look to tomorrow. 

I hope I didn't confuse you, but I learned an important yet simple lesson this weekend. I need to stop thinking about tomorrow and starting living today. According to who I am created in God, I have everything I need to fulfill my purpose today. I will not be lacking in any one thing.  Essentially, that means, I, and you, should not be worrying. We have what we need to be victorious today, don't wait to claim it tomorrow.

So that midterm you have today, ace it. God gives you the victory. The job that stresses you, overcome it.  God gave you the opportunity thus he will gave you the ability.  And the constant thoughts of how much better, how happier, how much clearer, how much healthier, how much more attractive, how much stronger you will be tomorrow needs to apply today. Live like you don't have a tomorrow and believe you have everything you need to not only battle, but win the day that we have been blessed to have seen. 

Love,

Stephanie