8 days left... |letter #73|

Dear My Future Husband,

 I should always feel like I can talk to you, especially when it's about feelings I am not proud of. I was reluctant to tell you because I was embarrassed. You are going to read about it anyway. The enemy tries to make me think that as a Christ-lover, I have to be perfect. His lies make me believe that I have to have it all together and that I can never have moments of weaknesses.  That is the biggest set of boloney I've heard. What kills me is that I let it formulate truth into my thoughts over God's word.

Not today. I won't hide my personal setbacks because of the idea that I'm not supposed to have them. If I was perfect, what was the purpose of Christ giving up His life for me? He knows I'm going to fall at times which is why He is already there to catch me. So, here goes, my funky stench:

   There are eight days left in my campaign and my state of performance has been threatened. I found myself thinking, Honestly, I don't care anymore. If I don't get the money, I'll be happy to finally get a break. Yes, I thought that. I am so mentally, emotionally, and physically tired from this work God has personally told me to do that my human flesh is telling me to give up. It is looking for an easy way out. It's trying to stop spreading the word, stop asking for donations, stop walking up to strangers, stop writing about it, stop talking about, stop making flyers, stop creating media, stop doing everything related to this project so I can walk away from my heavy exhaustion and constant on call duties.  

Spending hours of full faith at time to promote this dream is a concept that I am finally exploring the full definition to. As a student, I get things quick. I don't need to use countless hours studying materials like some of my peers because I have a great memory and understanding foreign information is almost second nature. I've pursed many dreams, but this is the very first big one where I have completely handed the reigns in His hands. This is the first one where I've had to devote more than just time and energy. My heart, mind, body, and soul is heavily involved, more than usual. 

I just need to have incredible faith, or, one as small as a mustard seed. The yoke is supposed to be light, so why am I complaining? I asked myself this and my answer was to go to God through my daily devotionals. He has become my first source for everything now. He answered me in six different ways:

1. Be thankful in ALL circumstances, always.
2. Pray about everything. Yes, even that that I think is unimportant & silly. It matters to Him.
3. Do not stop praying. Persistence builds character, faith, & hope.
4. Stop beating myself up for everything I do wrong. Just repent and ask Him to heal my wounds.
5. Love harder. This includes even the strangers I pass by.
6. DO NOT QUIT. Don't give up. The rewards are closer than I think.

I don't know about you hubby, but that was enough to set me straight. So I keep calm and carry on. It's always worth it with Jesus.

Love,

Stephanie

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9 days left... |letter #71|

Dear You,

The fear that once accompanied me when I awoke has been replaced with a peaceful confidence in God's plan. I am excited to see what He is brewing in my life. Yesterday was such a fulfilling day, it can only get better from here.

So, I like to start my mornings with devotionals, six different ones to be exact. I can't seem to pick one book because I hate the feeling of missing out on the others. I like to take on a lot at a time. It is almost normal to me. Spiritually, I need more. I seek for the things I don't know. In turn, it helps me build me wisdom.

Well, I have six different messages that I will be focused on today. I invite you to join me too. Why should I be the only one gaining from it? When you have something good, you should share it. When you make someone else happy, you forget that your weren't happy a few seconds ago. 

So here they are:

1. Be the light of the world, shining bright for all to see so that they know you come from God.
2. Ask Him to soften your heart so that you can hear Him when He speaks.
3. Be ready to fight temptation. It's coming, but there is always a way out.
4. Embrace the kingdom of God on earth and all that He has for you.
5. Fear, worry, and dread have no place in your heart.
6. Think only what is good and pleasing, You will become your thoughts eventually. 

Hope this helps you have a good day. You can tell me about it later.

Love,

Stephanie

Click Here to See What I'm Up To :)

10 days left... |letter #70|

Dear My Future Husband, 

This has been one of the most difficult things I've had to do because I am forced to abandon my incessant control and trust the one who is bigger than me.  Force, in the sense that without Him I can do no great thing on my own. 

Today, I woke up with fear in my heart. I imagined the obligations that this day held. I lacked hope, peace, and confidence in the work before me. Something felt so wrong about today that it scared me. 

So, I called Him. Cried, is a better word. I cried like a baby. I was fed up with answering questions I didn't know, planning things that didn't work, and reaching people who didn't respond. I've become accustomed to running to Him for every little thing. So I went to the source and he led me to green pastures. He told me how it breaks His heart that we only associate Him with duty and never with rest. He reminded me that only in Him do I find my confidence and peace. It's okay to relax. It's okay to lay, especially in His presence. 

He sets a bed of compassion and love for my name. He works when I come, and if not, He waits until I make the conscious choice to seek Him in the midst of His work for me. He is both the commander and healer. Outside of Him, I should have no want. He can give it all. 

I feel so refreshed. I feel safe now. I am no longer fearful. I am no longer burdened. Despite my humanly weaknesses and crazy thoughts, I know I'm going to be okay and this will all work out for His glory. He is faithful. 

I am ready for what He has for me today. 

Love, 

Stephanie

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"from spelmanites to you"... |letter #69|

Dear Sisters,

When I was a young girl, beautifully naive and eager to learn, I had always wished for an older sister to help guide my path. I would look up to her. I would learn from her errors. She would tell me everything I needed to know. I imagined she would discover a path and would run back to me to share with me the best ones. I wanted desperately a sister to share my deepest secrets with and one I would accept me for all that I am. Not only did I want a role model, I wanted a friend. 

God never gave me a sister through blood. He choose a better path for me instead. In 1881, he created Spelman College, an institution where all other black women like myself would be sent to become a part of a divine sisterhood. As a Spelman alumna today, I walked out with more sisters than I could count. I found women to look up to, to laugh with, to cry with, to encourage, to dance with, and to grow with. I found a sister in every shape and size. God knew one sister would not be enough for me. I needed one for every occasion. Spelman College was one of the best decisions I've made. It choose me and taught me to change the world. 

My desire to help new incoming Spelmanites stems from that sisterless place that I wanted filled when I walked through the gates. I had so many questions but I hadn't had anyone yet to walk with yet. They came through time and experience. Today, I want to give incoming students a resource I never had. I want to give them a helping hand to guide them as Spelman College becomes their home. Through the voices of the Spelman family and myself, I create this book to speak directly to them. I create this book in the efforts to give them sisters who willingly seek their success. I create this book to better them in the areas we had to learn the harder way. 

"From Spelmanites to You" only needs your support. This is a project rooted in hard work, sleepless nights, and uplifting words that is ready to reap what is has sowed. Holding us back today is our goal. Donate today to be the reason why our younger Spelman sisters thank us in advance. Donate today and become a part of this legacy. 

Love, 

Stephanie

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